he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we're making bets on your personal life
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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