Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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