I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
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I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The feeling are messing with the penis
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
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Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize