i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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