im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
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We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize