He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
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she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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