Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize