I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize