i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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