can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize