Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize