I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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