I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize