I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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