Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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