If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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