week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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