Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
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Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
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the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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