nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize