I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
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Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
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You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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