I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize