____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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