I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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