Your face is a jimmy john
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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