my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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