i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize