allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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