We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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