How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize