You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Say something about gay babies.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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