Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize