you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize