My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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