my vag is so smooth its legendary
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize