well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize