Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
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