She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize