he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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