I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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