The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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