I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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