I can't breathe out the right side of my face
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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