I hate your face
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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