Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
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I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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