i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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