thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize