So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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