You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize