i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
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tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
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I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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