Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize